Thursday, January 12, 2012

For mercy of the dying devil

My hallucinations are realized almost always, so did my horoscope this season, for the first time. I have never believed in fortune tellers, but my heart speaks to me a lot of things - the things that belong to my past, present and future, as well. Listening to my heart is all what I have done from the very first day I had in this world. The points where I refused to agree to myself were the points that made me travel through the path of suffering.
Memories - they never die, there are as many of them as I can think of. I talk about telling stories all the time, and I have a lot of them to share. There have been very few people in my life who could understand my stories, and even few of them understood what I had really meant by a ‘story’.

I was holding together the parts my dislocated right arm when the doctor pulled my left hand to inject the pain killers. The injection, in itself, was a huge device that would scare the hell out of anyone who had it for the first time, but fortunately all the fear and pain just disappeared when I saw it coming close to my self. I was more focused on the path that long needle followed penetrating my skin with the small hole in it that ejected drugs in my blood. Blood through my heart started rushing as the fluid entered my body and started to travel inside me. I thought the injection would put me to sleep, but it didn’t, instead it made me feel as if I was drunk.
The process of reallocation of bones started, I was scared that it would hurt a lot, but it did not. This time I didn’t even feel the joint slipping, and in less than a fraction of a second my hand was moving properly again. I was given only a minute or two to analyze what was happening before everything diminished to dreams, and when I woke up I was in my bed.

I heard my phone ringing but couldn’t read the text on it for I was not in my senses because of drugs, I was once again knocked down by the anesthetics before I could reply the text. It was more than an hour after which light appeared to me again, I made my left hand up and towards my phone as I summoned all my energy to break the drowsiness. I neither had any energy to read the screen, nor any courage to reply to the message, so I just typed down a short humming expression before clicking the send button, and once again I was defeated by sleep.

“11:55 am”, I read on my phone before putting it back in my pocket. “You must wait and have a conversation with your fellow people”, said my heart to which my hurried feet were not ready to listen to.  I was leaving for home after completing my morning physics class at Educare. Usually, I take up the route from park to my home on my returning journey so that I can get a glimpse of trees and garden where I sometimes stop by to get some peace. It was an awkward day that for the sake of traffic on the road I decided to taking a different route.
I pass against a huge car which was parked at left when I was almost hit by a huge vehicle which I didn’t even notice, there was another car that rushed behind me as I made my steps back. In this ordeal of seconds I didn’t realize the coming of two heavy men and hitting me right in my arms. My muscles were weak from the past 10 arm injuries that I had simultaneously months after months. I felt the bones rubbing against my flesh and slipping through each other, dodging every other fraction of calcium in my elbow. I tried to pull the dislocated bone back to its position before it was too late, but before I could realize it had slipped way too far away. I knew what exactly was happening to me for the same being happened to me a lot of times before that day, I found myself screaming in the middle of the road trying to move my legs back towards Educare. “Someone will be coming home tonight”, my heart proclaimed, and it never lies to me.  My classmates assisted me to the Educare where I waited before leaving for orthopedic clinic.

For all the termed relationships I ever had in my life, I found out a strangely true thing - there is no breaking point for them, instead they just disappear like they have never existed at first place. There are many things in our life that we start but never end, sometimes because we have no courage to continue our efforts, and sometimes because we sacrifice them for someone who deserves them less than someone else. Either way, for the mercy of dying devil heroic sacrifices are made - those we must be proud of and shall accept without fear. Strong is not the one who consider giving up on a sacrifice, but those who stand up again making even harder effort to persuade their dreams. Heart speaks to us a lot, and it tells us that mercy doesn’t change our destinations. Things that others do for us are often spoiled by us, and others spoil our efforts as well, but the mercy doesn’t stop there - it keeps on moving on the path of desires of the eye that observes the beauty of the nature. For the mercy of the dying devil heroic sacrifices are made, but for those who work for mercy are those who receive the blessings of universe and the lord of love and peace!

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